Posts tagged body image

Week in review

Geocaching and having a giggle. Haven't tried geocaching? Google it, It's super fun.

I took things up a notch this week. I am using a system called U-turn from u weight loss, it consists of a kinda yucky shake (they warned me it would be yucky) sort of tastes like I might imagine infant formula tastes. I am also taking their kickstart product which is a supplement that helps the body flush toxins. I have to admit my energy has been much improved. I have also been much more diligent about taking my calcium, omega, vit D, and fiber as well. Is it annoying to take these supplements? Yes in a way but it is much more annoying to have no energy, be depressed and worry that an airplane seatbelt might not fit.

I don’t think that I will be taking these things forever. I will find the right balance of vitamins, minerals, supplements that work for me health wise, financially, time management.

My eating has been right on track. I am following the U turn recipes to a T. I am following a certain schedule and calorie level for the week and then I will gradually increase my calories over the next month to six weeks until I am at a maintenance level. Hopefully my weight will stabilize and I will be able to eat a normal, healthy amount of food while being active. I really am loving these recipes. I am running the risk of turning in to a chicken again so I am balancing it out with some shrimp too.

Exercise has been off the hook!

Monday: Spinning

Tuesday:Masters swimming (didn’t really like it but I did it)

Wednesday: Working days, walked to work

Thursday: Spinning at noon (testing day,hard!) Met with Olly and set up some triathlon coaching.

Friday: Rest day, thank goodness because I worked nights last night and tonight too

Saturday: 90 min swim with the tri group (never, ever thought I could keep swimming that long)

Sunday: 45 min  run with Mark, good a bit achy but not too bad once warmed up, geocaching with the girls FUN!

This chick is gonna be busy. I am going to have to make friends with 5:30 am to get my short run in during the week. I do not like getting up earlier than 6:00.

I am hoping to be at my new goal weight by the end of Feb. I lost 7 lbs the first week which I am sure was lot of water weight but at least it is off my body. I am going to weigh in tomorrow so I will let you know.

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Neat program

I found a neat program online called Weight Mirror.  I usually try not to get hung up on thinking about what I might look like but I couldn’t resist. You upload a before photo, preferably a full length with a neutral background. I usually do not have very good luck with these types of things but this was really easy and satisfying.

Here is a before and hopeful after. Before is about 190 ish and the after is about 160 ish. Inspiring.

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Why not just be happy…

WHY NOT BE HAPPY

I have been close to my weight loss goal for months now. It has gotten really hard to lose weight and keep it off at this point. I exercise 3-5 times per week and for the most part follow my eating plan. But it is not budging or only does when I am really really strict.

Should I just decide to be happy and keep up with the exercise and see what happens. Being concerned about the numbers is kind of dragging me down. I am a very competitive person who does not like to cheat. So I have set a goal and I want to complete it. Is the goal dragging me down though. When I weigh myself it can either make or break my day and that is a bad thing. I should just BE HAPPY.

Where do i go from here. Right now the dogs are prancing around the house,chewing slippers, and barking at Jehovah`s Witnesses walking down the street. They need to go for walkies, I need to go for walkies.

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What went wrong and how I and how I am going to fix it.

releasing a bird

I had considered just sitting down and writing out my feelings in a journal but then I thought there might be a helpful blog post in the middle of all of my angsting.

Last week I was 177 lbs and hanging on by my fingernails and then a series of unfortunate events happened and I went on a bit of a bender. I will lay them out for you and myself so I might learn, forgive and move on.

Too much work: I worked my normal amount of shifts plus a couple of early morning short shifts and I switched a couple so the compliment of days made it seem like I was constantly at work. I even scheduled myself so that I worked until 11 pm one night and then had to be at work the next morning at 6 am. Not recommended. I only had to work for three hours that morning mind you, but I am really starting to accept that fatigue is a huge influence in my weight loss/gain.

Giving in to temptation: At work while I was tired I decide it wouldn’t be so bad if I had a cranberry bliss  bar, well that set off a cascade of poor eating choices. It is almost like I have tunnel vision and I can only see the object of my desire and I will not rest until it is consumed therefore it can not longer be mocking me, tempting me. I need to accept that I do have a problem with moderation. If I start with a single treat I usually can not stop I end up spiraling downward. I know so dramatic but it is true. Most likely similar to all other addictions, craving the immediate rush from the object of your affection, be it alcohol, gambling, or food.

The flu shots: I know this might sound like a cop-out but I seriously felt awful after the shots. For the first two days it was just sore arms and a bit of a headache.  As time went on I developed chest pain and a racing heart, very sore joints, fatigue. The heart rate was most disturbing, I could actually feel my pulse bounding through my whole body and it was giving me a horrible anxious feeling. To be fair to the flu shots, Mark was feeling similarly and he didn’t have the flu shots so perhaps we both had a different flu going through us.

Halloween candy: For the first 3 days I didn’t touch the stuff. Then I started feeling really tired (see first excuse) and needed a bit of a pick me up. So I had a couple and then you know what happened (see excuse # 2). Moderation is not really something I am good at. Kind of an all or nothing kind of girl. Working on it.

Gloomy weather: I find that I am very affected by the grey sky, it intensifies my poor mood, makes me more tired, I tend to seek out simple carbs to elevate my mood.

Lack of quality sleep: With all of the strange shift work and my innate desire to stay up late (it is my time for me) I believe that I have not been getting a enough quality sleep and that is throwing off my hormone level and surely causing me to crave things that elevate my alertness and mood.

Indecision: I have a few ideas that I am working on in my mind and some I have control over and some I do not. I find went I am unable to control a situation I seek out something to control and that is usually food. I can quickly choose something, prepare it and then eat it. Oh and it has the side effect of temporarily elevating my mood with the simple carb content. Then there will be the inevitable crash and subsequent need for more simple carb fuel,sending me in to a tailspin.

Lack of success this past 8 weeks: I set a lofty goal of being finished my weight loss by Nov 9th. I was fairly doable but I have found it so hard to budge these last 17 or so lbs. I feel like I may have wasted the money I put in to the last 8 weeks, and with that comes guilt…Guilt breeds self-destruction. Enter bender.

What can I do starting today

  1. Control my work life a bit better. This is tough because I am always seeking a new challenge and I have never had trouble finding work. Balance needs to be attained.
  2. Realize my limits when it comes to treats. I really can not have just one.
  3. Not much to do about the flu shot/ mystery flu, but to accept that I was not feeling well and that it was okay to rest and get better. This feeling will not persist
  4. Put the Halloween candy out of eyesight. Done…put in sealed containers in the pantry. Out of sight out of mouth.
  5. Can’t control the weather but it is sunny right now and I will take advantage of it and take the doggies for a big walk.
  6. Sleep… I have been better the last couple of days, I refrained from too much TV last night and chose to go to bed at a decent time and read for a few minutes.
  7. Re: Decisions, If I have learned anything in my lifetime is that I should not rush in to decisions that I am not totally convinced of. Leaky condo is big reminder of not rushing in to buying something if you are not sure. That being said sometimes risky decisions are the ones that pay off the most. This topic still needs some work.
  8. Re:Failure/Lack of success and wasted money. Let it go and move on. This is something I often tel my kids. Let it go and move on. If I let the guilt and anxiety about wasted money weigh me down the whole process could become invalid. MOVE ON.

I am going to go to my meeting at the U weight loss clinic (I have been avoiding their calls) and make a plan for how they can help me succeed.

XOXO

Betty

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Swirling ideas

rays of sunshine

My future is so bright...

I have a tonne of ideas swirling around in my head right now. All good things. As my last post indicates I need to find some focus. I do tend to overwhelm myself with projects, jobs, and new ideas. I don’t like to miss out on things and I think that can be to my detriment sometimes and to my advantage as well.

Some people might think I am crazy to have a family, full-time job, 2 casual jobs, write a blog, losing weight, trying to be a bit of an athlete, and an affectionate wife (no snickering Mark). I do have a natural tendency towards the lazy so I suppose I tend to over do it a bit in an attempt to override that tendency.

I am reading Jillian Michaels’ Master your Metabolism book right now (thanks Andrea)  and it really jives with the learning and supplements at U weight loss.I really ought to start getting a commission from Jillian, at least 4 or 5 people I know have bought her video now. Oh well good for her she must be putting out the right vibes to generate such wonderful success. Once I am finished losing the weight forever, I truly believe that I will have a better understanding of my body and how to better maintain it at a healthy weight.

I have found that when the time is right things just fall in to place for me. When I push things too hard and try to force outcomes, I always fall flat and end up seriously disappointed. I am struggling with the fact that I really want to get a website up and running that incorporates all of the things I talk about in the blog and a few more as well. It seems like a big undertaking but I believe that it is my calling and I am meant to provide a service to others trying to find their way to health and happiness. So I am putting it out there universe, let me know when the time is right and send a web designer to my door step.

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Finding focus…

 

Becky 10k start

My first 10k

 

 

I have been getting a bit worked up trying to meet a certain deadline with my weight loss.  I have decided to just chill and stop being so fixated. Just do what has been working well so far, enjoy the process and love the outcome.

The Law of Attraction is something I fervently believe in. So the more I fixate on not losing weight, the less weight will come off. Does that make sense?

I have been listening to  Bob Proctor, I downloaded his audio book It’s not about the money. It is a great book about a personal journey towards wealth, but it also talks about the laws of attraction, confidence, belief in what you want to do with your life.

I have become reinvigorated on my walks with the dogs. It feels like I have come full circle. I began my weight loss journey by walking along the channel with the dogs. I went for a walk today and just powered through the walk I used to get tired doing, and even went further to boot. It is super cold and windy but I find the walk so calming and enjoyable.

Since I started exercising I have progressed from walking short distances, to walking further and faster, to Nordic Walking, and then to running, which morphed in to triathlon. The sky is the limit now…What should I do next? There is a small kernel that is nagging at me like a tiny rock in your shoe on a long run. The kernel is a large triathlon that happens to take place in Penticton. I am not promising anything but I am starting the process by taking a spinning class with Triathlon coaches. I really need to work on swimming but one thing at a time.

This post might have become a little unfocused along the way but oh well. This is my forum.

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One year of weight loss

family photo 2008

family photo 2008

family fall photo final

family photo 2009

I have been working  hard at losing weight for the past year. Some weeks have seen harder work  than others. I could be a little bit disappointed that I haven’t reached my goal of 88 lbs lost yet but then again 70 lbs lost is nothing to sneeze at. Every time I slip up and regress a little I get right back on track now. Before it would have meant a weeks or months long slide in to getting fatter territory. I realize that I will not gain 70 lbs in one night as long as I get right back on the wagon.

I have 4 weeks left at U weight loss in the losing weight phase, then I will move in to maintenance. I would love to go all ” Biggest Loser” and say that I could lose 18-20 lbs in the next 4 weeks. I am also realistic and understand that it is getting harder to lose the closer I get to my goal.

I have officially lost 81.5 inches off of a multitude of places on my body. The biggest change is in my waist/midsection where I have lost over 13 inches.  This is big for me because I was really getting worried about the medical implication of the excess abdominal fat, linked with heart disease and early death. I was also concerned about the increase risk of breast cancer in people who are obese. My Grannie is a breast cancer survivor and one of my favorite people.

We took some lovely family photos this weekend (thank you Dad). I have been shying away from family pictures for the past few years. I really wanted to have a picture I could be proud. The photos have turned out really nice.  It feels great to like how pictures turn out now.

Luv Betty

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