Archive for October, 2009

Finding focus…

 

Becky 10k start

My first 10k

 

 

I have been getting a bit worked up trying to meet a certain deadline with my weight loss.  I have decided to just chill and stop being so fixated. Just do what has been working well so far, enjoy the process and love the outcome.

The Law of Attraction is something I fervently believe in. So the more I fixate on not losing weight, the less weight will come off. Does that make sense?

I have been listening to  Bob Proctor, I downloaded his audio book It’s not about the money. It is a great book about a personal journey towards wealth, but it also talks about the laws of attraction, confidence, belief in what you want to do with your life.

I have become reinvigorated on my walks with the dogs. It feels like I have come full circle. I began my weight loss journey by walking along the channel with the dogs. I went for a walk today and just powered through the walk I used to get tired doing, and even went further to boot. It is super cold and windy but I find the walk so calming and enjoyable.

Since I started exercising I have progressed from walking short distances, to walking further and faster, to Nordic Walking, and then to running, which morphed in to triathlon. The sky is the limit now…What should I do next? There is a small kernel that is nagging at me like a tiny rock in your shoe on a long run. The kernel is a large triathlon that happens to take place in Penticton. I am not promising anything but I am starting the process by taking a spinning class with Triathlon coaches. I really need to work on swimming but one thing at a time.

This post might have become a little unfocused along the way but oh well. This is my forum.

Advertisements

Comments (3) »

So close I can almost taste it…

ice cream

I have been really getting aggravated by being stuck in the high 170″s. I have been eating extremely well for 85-90% of the time and exercising like a freak. What is going on? Perhaps I need to give the food plan 110% attention. I wonder if I have not been eating enough at some times and my body is hanging on to fat because it is worried about starving, and then I get tired from working stupid hours and exercising alot…which makes me crave carbs big time.

A large part of my weight loss journey is learning why I gain weight. I have identified some key components. Stress, Chaos, Fatigue, Boredom, Hunger, Anger (I am going to show you…I will eat and make my self fat and that’ll fix you, hmmm).

I do feel that I have some really good skills and habits now to deal with life as it comes. I do hope that once I am finished losing I will be able to modulate my eating and exercise to maintain an ideal balance. Perhaps it looks something like this…Go for a 3 hour bike ride and then enjoy a yummy peanut butter/chocolate ice cream waffle cone.

We are going to go to indoor spinning classes this fall at Team Impact Multisport Mark and I went for some “testing” before the classes start. It was a really interesting experience. You have your bike set up on a trainer (so you can ride your bike inside), the coach gets you to warm up and then starts asking you what your perceive effort is as he continually increases the tension on the trainer, every 5 min or so they poke your finger to take a blood sample to test for lactate.

See betty get her lactate tested

See betty get her lactate tested

I wasn’t sure how I was going to do at first because my legs were burning in the warm up. As I got warmer I felt a lot better and was able to maintain a good cadence. I think I might have surprised the coach due to my lack of cycling experience and that I am not yet in optimal condition. I was able to take it to my max and get my heart rate up to 174 bpm and complete the time in my max zone he requested of me.  The coach was a very encouraging  fellow named Olly Piggen I think I am going to dig these classes.

The last 18 lbs should just melt off and if they don’t I don’t know what will work? I still can believe I only have 18 lbs to go. I have been looking at 80 + lbs to lose for so many years I can’t believe that I am almost there. What will life be like when I am not the chubbiest girls in the room always? Guess what I am now? I am an athlete. I like that label better.

Comments (5) »

One year of weight loss

family photo 2008

family photo 2008

family fall photo final

family photo 2009

I have been working  hard at losing weight for the past year. Some weeks have seen harder work  than others. I could be a little bit disappointed that I haven’t reached my goal of 88 lbs lost yet but then again 70 lbs lost is nothing to sneeze at. Every time I slip up and regress a little I get right back on track now. Before it would have meant a weeks or months long slide in to getting fatter territory. I realize that I will not gain 70 lbs in one night as long as I get right back on the wagon.

I have 4 weeks left at U weight loss in the losing weight phase, then I will move in to maintenance. I would love to go all ” Biggest Loser” and say that I could lose 18-20 lbs in the next 4 weeks. I am also realistic and understand that it is getting harder to lose the closer I get to my goal.

I have officially lost 81.5 inches off of a multitude of places on my body. The biggest change is in my waist/midsection where I have lost over 13 inches.  This is big for me because I was really getting worried about the medical implication of the excess abdominal fat, linked with heart disease and early death. I was also concerned about the increase risk of breast cancer in people who are obese. My Grannie is a breast cancer survivor and one of my favorite people.

We took some lovely family photos this weekend (thank you Dad). I have been shying away from family pictures for the past few years. I really wanted to have a picture I could be proud. The photos have turned out really nice.  It feels great to like how pictures turn out now.

Luv Betty

Comments (6) »

My First Crash

bacon bandages

one way to get your bacon fix

On the weekend Mark and I should have been doing yard work or sorting out the jumbled shed but the weather was just too good to not go for a bike ride. So Carpe Diem we did. We decided to ride out along Naramata road for a while and see how it went. Well we got to the first hill, not too far from our house, and I was struggling with my gears a bit and I looked down at the front ring, the handle bars followed my gaze and the wheel caught and edge… knee meets concrete. I felt pretty silly since I was at the bottom of a hill when I bailed, but kind of grateful that I wasn’t going 60km downhill when I ejected from my bike.

carpe diem

I sat there for a minute and pondered the sheer misfortune of an injury at the beginning of the bike ride. Mark was kind by suggesting we go home to either clean it up or wait for another day. Somewhere inside myself I found the internal fortitude to say “no, let’s go on”. We rode all the way to Naramata, down in to the village and stopped for a snack and knee clean up, then we rode all the way home. It was a total of 32 km. Not Ironman distance but pretty good for my second ride of any consequence.

The best reward for me was Mark’s comments. The old Betty would not have gone on after an injury, in fact the old Betty would have found every reason not to start the ride in the first place.  New  Betty sure has a lot more energy and spunk.

I find since I have lost weight I am less intimidated by things. Less scared. I have even fantasized about sky diving. Rollercoasters I might consider now, whereas before there was no way. I was too fat and too scared. Is it a chicken or an egg thing? Was the fat making me scared or was the fat a protective coating because I was scared?

Now that I do not have the weight to insulate me I am open, exposed to the world like a fresh wound. Some days the word is exhilarating and some days there is a bit of a sting. I need to continue to get more comfortable with feeling things and not trying to keep a barrier between me and the sensations.

The knee scrape has made exercising this week a challenge because the swelling makes the knee difficult to bend and the scab is painful to kneel on. I bought Jillian Michaels’ 30 day Shred DVD and I have been aching to try it. I  finally tried it today and it went pretty well. I wasn’t able to do the push up because of the knee but I modified and did wall push ups. I think this will be a good workout. It only takes 20 min and it gives you cardio, strength and core.

my new master

my new master

Comments (3) »

Why so sad?

 

Betty Draper "coping with her cigarette"

Betty Draper from Mad Men "coping with her cigarette"

I am finding depression and anxiety very prevalent in the women I see going through the medical system. It does not seem to matter what socio-economic bracket these women are from they appear to be equally touched by these disorders.

Have there always been this many women struggling with depression and anxiety? Is there more pressure on women now, are we less stimulated, not as connected to our physical self, living in our heads. Did women used to cope in different ways that are not acceptable anymore, such as heavy duty anti-anxiety meds such as valium and the non prescription Merlot? Do women have more pressure on them, more requirements of their time and attention? Or is it a higher report rate; are women just more open with talking about their challenges and willing to accept treatment?

I am not sure of the answer. I have not done any kind of study but I really am surprised how many women seem to be struggling with these potentially debilitating disorders.

Could it be that women in the past have asked for the right to do everything and now our generation is paying the price? Great, now we get to care for the kids, work full-time, handle the banking, food shop, make the food, clean up after the food, wash, fold and put away the laundry, pets to the vet, buy the pet food, and so on and so on, not to mention mowing the lawn, and taking out the garbage. What happened to the pink and blue jobs?

What is to be done about depression and anxiety? I know that I suffer from a low to moderate anxiety. I am a worrier. I sometimes get a cramp in the pit of my stomach when I forget what I was worrying about, then I remember and I feel a sense of relief when I am able to go back to worrying again. I have experienced and acute depression before and it was not fun.

We are often so concerned with our physical health and appearance, what is so different about taking care of our mental health?

For me the things that have been helping me control my anxiety is EXERCISE. What do you know exercise can help keep you physically and mentally healthy? Fighting chaos by keeping my house in order, planning meals, looking ahead on the calendar, all help me keep the anxiety at bay.

People who are self described type A’s are really employing a self protection device. They know their limits for anxiety and they set boundaries for what is acceptable to them. I kind of understand now. I do have a bit of the Type A in me but there is also a messy rebel who does not want to do all of the cleaning on her list (wink Mom).

Not really sure where this rant is going…I wonder if there is a study or a master’s thesis in the study of women’s mental health.

Comments (1) »

Choices

I was running a bit late leaving for work tonight and I had two choices, take the car and I can be at work in about 3 min. I decided that I would walk fast like. Well what do you know I got a surge of energy and decided to run to work…I’ll run as far as I can and then I will walk. Hmmm I ran the whole damn way even up the hill just before the Hospital.

I am proud of me.

Betty

Leave a comment »